Dear God, Its me again... (Part 7)

Christmas has become a sad time of year for me. My mummy died in the beginning of December, 8 years ago so since then, its not been the same. I was 13 at the time and although the few weeks between her death and Christmas was a whole blurr to me, looking back at pictures from that Christmas, it was probably the start of sad Christmas' for me cos I had red swollen eyes and sad smiles (lol.the pix are BAD)

Ive been celebrating Christmas at my aunts since 2000 but this year is shes away (ill post all about her soon) so Christmas is going to be back at home for a change. It should be good cos last Christmas was spent with alot of 'friends and family'. I say 'friends and family' cos theyre not really and I dont like faking so I was pretty much in a stinking, snotty mood. I cant get in the Christmas spirit and celebrate like with you like I love you if i dont. I know the season is all about bringing God's love, but at the same time, its got to be real. God sees through the fakeness.

This year is gonna just be with my dad and a family friend and Im thinking of invitin my neighbour around cos her husband and daughter are away. Its gonna be so quiet, but so much more intimate and real. Well, I pray it will be.

Quality is better than quantity!

For me, the best part of Christmas is being at church. Its not always been like that (I know ur thinkin, 'thats soooo boring' and I agree, alot of churches can be). But my church, nah not my church. I loovvveeee my church! =D Theres a whole crowd of people I do not know, yet the celebrations arent fake. Like the bible says, 'A day in your house is better than a thousand anywhere else!' Sometimes Im at church, singing, dancing, shouting and it feels like im in a really good club with a good crowd, good music, and doin my own thing but its better cos the guys arent tryin to rub up against u, no one spilling their drinks on me, no one starting a fight and Im not dancing to get the attention of any guy, Im dancing out of joy and singing for God!

Im getn de ja vu writing about my love for my church I think I wrote something similar in my diary last christmas.

I pray that this Christmas is allllll about the celebrant! no matter who or where I spend it.

ps.....I hate it when people write xmas instead of CHRISTMAS. Hes the reason for the season people!